Full disclosure today I'm revealing some of the (embarrassing) things I do that I don't really want to do but I do anyway.
You know, those things that feel like the easy and ok option at the time (maybe even give you some short term gratification) but in the long term, you know your inner voice is saying "yeah, you let yourself down there Rach. You could've done better." URRRRRRGH!!!! Ok so you know exactly what I mean I'm gonna' break some of mine down for you. Here we go:
> reaching for anything sugary when I'm stressed and need a moment out
> telling myself I'm too tired or too busy to exercise today
> procrasting doing my accounts and recording/ reviewing my biz metrics
> telling myself I'll remember things when I should just bloody write it down? Honestly what's up with that one?!!!
Thing is, I'm pretty sure you have 'things' too (they're probably different than mine but I think we ALL have them) so yeah, let's be imperfect humans together for a moment in the spirit of personal growth... ?
A wee while ago I came across Glennon Doyle (I think it was in this podcast with one of my woman crushes Brene Brown):
Glennon's podcast is called 'We Can Do Hard Things', where they say each week they "will bring our hard to you and we will ask you to bring your hard to us and we will do what we were all meant to do down here: Help each other carry the hard so we can all live a little bit lighter and braver, more free and less alone."
Glennon shares a lot about her journey and life and has lots of amazing guests on. They talk about breaking old habits and becoming the person you deeply want to be. Honestly I could listen to this stuff until the cows come home!
I started walking and listening and yes I WAS that crazy woman laughing, agreeing and having clear 'AHA' moments as I walked- anyone who saw me would've thought I was seriously loco ?.
One of the biggest learnings for me was this.
We KNOW there are some things we want to be doing differently in our lives. It might be exercise. It might be connection. It might be more spirituality, or simply eating better.
But making that shift to BECOME that person we want to be? It feels HARD.
So we keep making the easy choices, because they feel ok in the moment, but we know long term they're doing you no good- for your health, for your wellbeing, for your soul, for your self belief.
Now there are LOTS of reasons for this that I won't go into (what I will say is listen to the podcasts if you want some entertainment and enlightenment because it's good, soul building stuff).
Instead, I'm going to share a wee tip I learnt along the way in Glennon's podcast, and my new FILL YOUR CUP FORMULA (and accompanying printable) that is helping me show up for myself in ways I wished I could but just couldn't before!
FILL YOUR CUP FORMULA - STEP 1, ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR 'GO TO'S:
First step, is to sit down somewhere quiet, with pen and paper. Reflect and write down all of those things that you do - the easy, GO TO habits you have that give you immediate gratification but don't actually build your self belief or fill your cup.
Have a giggle at yourself. Just be honest. Lay ALL your cards out on the table. No one's looking at this but you. Don't hold back.
FILL YOUR OWN CUP FORMULA- STEP 2, ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR CUP FILLERS:
Next step, and this might require some more thought, is to think about the things that actually REALLY do FILL YOUR CUP. Now this is NOT the things that other people say should fill your cup. This is just YOU. Thinking about the things that you do, that make you feel most ALIVE. Most connected to yourself. Things that fill you with self belief. Fill you with peace. Fill you with quiet calm and confidence.
It might be sitting on the grass looking at the sky.
It might be meditating.
It might be reconnecting with an old friend.
Sitting in front of a crackling fire.
Setting a goal and bloody achieving it!
Some of these things might directly counteract your go to's above and that's great! The point is, you're giving yourself time and space to really dig into what connects you with your inner self, builds your self belief and fills your cup.
FILL YOUR OWN CUP FORMULA- STEP 3: STICK IT UP!
This one's important because it's where this exercise moves from a 'nice to do' thing to an actual everyday practise that brings about change.
What you need to do is PRINT OFF your list of go to's and cup fillers. Then, every time you have a choice to make, and you feel like you're leaning towards a GO TO, run down your list of CUP FILLERS instead, and pick one to help you through the moment.
You won't do it every time. And that's ok.
But OVER TIME, you will make a soul fuelled, cup filling choice, more and more. Because you'll see and FEEL the benefits and your life will change. It's so simple. There's no trick. It's simply acknowledge, and choice, and empathy for yourself, and action.
One of the coolest things is, when you start showing up for yourself, some of those things on your GO TO list, you still do, but instead of a guilt fuelled, watch it then feel bad Netflix sesh accompanied by a large bar of chocolate and too much wine, it becomes an uplifting celebration moment of 'I showed up for myself this week, I filled my own cup, and now I'm going to relax and deeply enjoy this moment' thing.
Pretty cool huh?!!
To make this even easier for you, I've made a printable that you can download here >
And if all of this resonates with you and you want our support filling your cup, I'm super excited because in our Membership we're now holding WEEKLY co working sessions where we encourage you to work on your biz cup fillin' activities.
In May we're also launching weekly journalling sessions so we can show up together every Monday and intentionally move into the week in the way we want to.
It's all simple stuff but it's the stuff we often don't hold space for in our lives, and then we wonder why we don't make progress ??♀️
So check it out if you're ready to make change for yourself and want to do it with a pretty epic crew by your side!
Otherwise, let me know in the comments if any of this has resonated with you and of course if you print off the Fill Your Cup Formula and it WORKS!!
Here's to a better, more soul fuelled, cup filled world ❤️
Hi! I'm Rach
I'm the Founder of She Owns it. I love helping Kiwi women grow their businesses through mentorship, coaching and community.